While Valentine’s Day is traditionally for sweethearts, there are many kinds of love that we celebrate. One of these is the unique relationship between siblings.
One of my greatest joys in life is my sister, Brenda. We live in different provinces but almost every day phone or message. I still remember the first time I saw my tiny baby sister in my mother’s arms. Far from being jealous of the new arrival, I was extremely proud. Mom and I would peek around a corner to watch her as she walked. If she caught us looking, she would immediately sit back down again.When Brenda was three, I taught her a simple French song and then boasted that she could speak French. She was adorable, incredibly cute with her dark hair and chubby cheeks. One night, I had a dream of an older version of her, tall with long, dark hair. That is exactly the beautiful young woman she became.
Brenda and I seldom fought. We had a few incidents, of course. One day when we played a game of tag, I told her she had to chase me around a tree. Being older, I whizzed around it while she tried to keep up on her sturdy little legs. Once, for some unknown reason, I locked her outside the house. On another occasion, I planned games for her birthday party, and she promptly went off with her friends, ignoring my carefully prepared agenda. She also drove me wild when we played Chinese checkers. After she became bored with the game, Brenda would laugh and upset all the marbles. However, fighting or aggravating was something that was the exception, not the rule.
Our own children were a different story. When my second child, Christopher, was born, his sister instructed me: “Put Christopher in his seat. Put Christopher in his bassinet. Put Christopher on the floor!!” When he was a little older, she complained that her brother was “breathing her air.” Christopher, however, was not innocent. I can still see him in my mind, blinking at her across the table, evidently enjoying her howls of protest.
When our next three children were born, jealousy wasn’t the issue but sibling fights abounded. During long car trips, I used to dream of sound proof glass that would allow me to see the children in the back seats of the van but not hear the noise. “Aunt Brenda and I never fought,” I told them numerous times.
There were many happy moments as well when they played together for hours. One of the best ways to keep them peacefully occupied was to read to them. Our children devoured books and my husband and I spent wonderful evenings reading to them.
They also looked out for each other. We were at a park one day when little Hannah ventured up the slide. I started to get up from my bench, to ensure she didn’t fall, but didn’t need to. Her three older siblings were waiting at the bottom to ensure her safety. Christopher, as the only boy, also saw it as his duty to size up some of the young men his four sisters dated in their teens.
Fast forward to adulthood. Our five spirited children are thoughtful and caring. Andrea has started “sister nights,” a time when the girls go away overnight and have fun together. Christopher organizes family fishing trips. We celebrate birthdays, special occasions and the siblings share interests and activities. Since they are all highly verbal, we have lively discussions, and occasionally have to declare some topics off limits to keep the peace!
Of course, all families have their particular style. Our youngest child, Susanna, wrote me a funny description of sibling life:
Upon entering my parents’ house you will most likely see the oldest child cuddling the cat, drawing pictures which use her art skills, and thinking about how soon she can leave and go to bed. The next oldest and the only boy in the family may be loudly playing his guitar, talking about computers, or taking off his socks so he can throw them at you. The next child is either obsessing over cats or books, as both appeal to her more than humans. The next child may outwardly look quite normal but is actually as strange as everyone else. She will be occupied getting others to make her drinks, bring her slippers and boring them with stories of Canadian law. As for myself, the last and youngest, I am likely to be lying on the floor, being ridiculous, and attempting to bother other people in the room, by causing a scene. As I write all this, however, I know I have the best family and would not change it for the world. From my family to yours, be yourselves and never change.
On Valentine’s Day, celebrate and love your siblings. Brenda, I still adore you!